Excessive pride is the sign of a worthless soul.
April first. On this day we are reminded of what we stand for during the other three hundred and sixty four days.
Hell is the only truly important Christian community in the entire universe.
The banker is a guy who lends you an umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the moment it starts to rain.
Bill Stiles is leading a congressional lobby campaign for a senatorial candidate. He complains about the low moral level of the legislation: "You just feel like letting it go. There isn't a single person with high moral standards, so that once it's sold it stays sold no matter what happens."
Favorable prophecies are like wars with a good purpose: they are so rare that we cannot count them.
God is fierce in the Old Testament and delightful in the New Testament; doctor jekyll and mr hyde in sacred version.
God created Italy according to Michelangelo's design.
God protects fools and children, as the saying goes. This is the pure truth. I know this because I have checked it myself.
The rich can have all kinds of principles.
The rich care for no one but themselves; only the poor pity the poor and help them.
Blasphemy relieves us as not even prayer can.
God does not have a consistent enough character or firm enough convictions. He must be Catholic or Presbyterian or whatever, it doesn't matter, - and he must not strive to be everywhere all the time.
Be virtuous and you will be lonely.
If I had a dog as imposing as conscience, I would poison it. It takes up more space than all the internal organs and has no meaning.
Sometimes it happens, of course, that the truth also betrays us. But the flimsy, unsophisticated, inept lie does not last two years - except for slander. The latter is practically invulnerable
There was only one Christian; They captured Him and quickly crucified Him.
On weekdays, we don't use morality very successfully. We always have to get it fixed on Sunday.
There comes a time in every boy's life when he is seized with a frenzied desire to find a hidden treasure.
There are two million gods in India and they are all worshipped. As far as religion is concerned, all other countries are poor, and only in India is it a millionaire.
In literature, copying does not lead to similarity.
In a museum in Havana there are two skulls of Christopher Columbus, Columbus the child and Columbus the man.
Currently, the palaces in heaven are heated by radiators connected to hell. The torments of sinners only increase because the fire that consumes them gives comfort to those righteous at the same time.
In a group of fifty people there can be a donkey without being an optimist, but there cannot be an optimist who is not a donkey.
In heaven, admission is not by merit, but by protection, otherwise your dog would have been admitted, and you would have remained at the entrance.
In that country the people were liars, every one of them. Even the question "How are you?" it was a lie, because the questioner didn't care how you were doing unless he was an undertaker.
Your enemy and your friend act in concert to touch you directly to the heart: one says dirty things about you, and the other conveys his words to you.
Washington could not simply lie. I can, but I refrain.
At the sight of a drunk man, a story about drunk people surely comes to mind.
The introduction of cremation will probably save the ostentatious funeral jokes, but on the other hand, won't there be a resurgence of old, musty cremation jokes that have rested in peace for two thousand years?